Don't Get Too High, Don't Get Too Low

Ajaan Chah’s student once got into a fight with another monk. Walking away, he came upon Ajaan Chah, who gave him a big smile. Right away, the student felt better. Later, Ajaan Chah asked the same student to stay behind and massage his feet. As they were sitting there, Ajaan Chah suddenly gave the student a huge kick that knocked him on his back.

“You’re not paying attention to the practice,” Ajaan said. “All it takes is a few words to put you in a bad mood, then a few words to put you in a good mood, then a kick to leave you confused. We’re not here to follow our moods. We’re here to learn NOT to believe in them."

People come to meditation for all sorts of wrong reasons. Sometimes they come hoping to get an identity or sense of superiority. Sometimes they come hoping to get calmness or confidence that will help them influence others. But mostly, people come to meditation because they don’t like their difficult moods.

And so they miss the point, which is that our moods are always going up and down, like a yo-yo, from bright to dark and back again. The question is: Do you also want to be a yo-yo and go along with them?

When you’re suffering, one of the most helpful things you can do is pause and ask: What’s the real problem here? Is the problem that gain turned to loss, pleasure turned to pain, praise turned to blame — reversals that are all totally inevitable? Or is the real problem that, once again, you lost yourself when you got high, and then you lost yourself when you got low?

But you’re still right here, worthy of compassion, worthy of your own love in the midst of these changes. So remember what Ajaan Fuang said: “The mind is like a king. Its moods are like his ministers. Don't be a king who's easily swayed by his court." You can talk about being a free, sovereign being all you like. Separating from your moods is how you actually live that way.