Praise This Broken World

My European friends are often shocked by the U.S. tipping system, which they correctly see as a way of shifting the burden of fair wages onto customers. I don’t disagree, but I still tip. Refusing to tip doesn’t fix the system; it just punishes the worker. It also robs us of a chance to practice generosity.

There’s a deeper message here. People often withhold gratitude, consciously or not, as a way of protesting their circumstances. Someone feels guilty enjoying anything during a time of global crisis. Someone won’t say thank you for fear of condoning inequality, reinforcing a hierarchy, or seeming too vulnerable.

These reactions are understandable, but they miss the point. As the Buddha said, gratitude isn’t just for others. YOU need it, he said, as much as a person dying of thirst needs water. Without training your mind to focus on the goodness of life, you lose your way. Then you’re no use to anyone.

Part of the problem is that social media has turned gratitude into a marker of success, affluence, and wellbeing. But gratitude actually matters most when life is hardest.

A woman once came to me feeling depressed. I suggested she take a walk and reflect on her blessings. She said, “Didn’t you hear me? I’m depressed.” I said, “Do you want the practice you want or the practice you need?” She got it.

You have to praise this broken world. Not because it’s satisfactory, but because it’s the only one you’ve got. The systems are mostly busted. The games are mainly rigged. Tip anyway. Encourage people anyway. Let yourself feel joy anyway. Gather the shards of light, and the way will be clearer.

Olivia Arthur, "Diana" (2009)