You Are Waiting For Too Much

Chögyam Trungpa used to warn about waiting for “the dream come true.” All of us, in our own ways, are waiting for life to conform to some dream. Maybe it’s a romantic partner. Maybe it’s the day we won’t feel depressed any more. Maybe it’s enlightenment. But as long as we’re waiting for a dream to come true, we’re asleep.

Years ago, in one of the first meditation classes I ever taught, the students were very agitated. So I said to them, “Imagine that your breath is the most soothing thing you’ve ever experienced.” Within a few minutes, half were passed out. Some were even snoring.

I realized my mistake, and said, “Let’s try again. This time, imagine you’re a hunter waiting for his prey. You have to be still, but very alert. Maybe there’s even a touch of adrenaline.” Suddenly, the whole class locked in and the energy in the room was rapturous and beautiful.

After, a woman said to me, “I’ve never felt like that before. I was like totally … AWAKE.” I said, yes, that’s the point: to be awake. But that’s often the last thing we think of. We want more illusions, more enchantments. But happiness comes from disillusionment, disenchantment, emotions that, difficult though they are, unlock the handcuffs of what we think life should be.

I read recently that, on his deathbed, Pope Francis said, “You are waiting for too much: Christmas, Friday, next year, when you have money, when everything will be perfect.” Don’t wait for the dream to come true. The present moment may not be pleasant, but it’s the only place where you will learn to open your heart to the goodness of life.

Don’t reach for another experience, another concept, another daydream. Gather your broken plans, your blemished skin, your bruised ambition, and go out into the world, feeling the sun on your skin and what you don’t yet understand in your heart. This is your life, the only one that is or will have been.