You're Knocking From Inside

I recently read a true story about Beyhan Mutlu, a Turkish man who wandered into the woods after a night of drinking and was reported missing by his family. When a search party was organized, Beyhan heard the commotion and joined the group, unaware that they were looking for him. He spent hours shouting his own name into the forest before realizing that he was the one he was looking for.

“What you seek is seeking you.” Yet we keep joining search parties focused somewhere else. We hop from retreat to retreat, book to book, concept to concept, without seeing that, in most cases, we already know what we need to do. We already know how to be happy. Still, we procrastinate, believing we need the approval of others before we can fully trust ourselves.

One of the Buddha’s key teachings is ehipassiko, often translated as “come and see for yourself.” At its simplest, it means: don’t outsource your inner authority to any tradition, religion, or teacher. More deeply, it means: your own experiences — your everyday frustrations, jealousies, and sorrows — are the only place you’ll ever find answers, the only place you’ll ever find yourself.

My teacher likes to say, “Wisdom is found in real time.” Meaningful change doesn’t come from endlessly analyzing what happened after the fact. That’s just more noise from someone else’s search party. Change comes from pausing in a tense or painful moment, noticing what is arising, and meeting it with love and compassion. Change begins when we shift from "Why did it happen?" to "What is actually happening right now?”

Rumi says: “I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons. Knocking on a door, it opens. I’ve been knocking from inside!” Every unfulfilled desire in you, every dream of being better loved, every yearning for belonging or recognition — these are your heart calling to itself from itself, reminding you that you were never lost.