Leave This Place Better Than You Found It
Starting in the 1970s, the plastics industry spent millions promoting the idea that consumers should be responsible for recycling plastic. This was a brilliant form of blame-shifting: instead of asking companies to stop producing so much waste, ordinary people like you and me were taught to feel responsible for getting rid of it. But you can’t get rid of what has been produced. That’s the point.
We tend to approach our minds the same way. When anger, sadness, or jealousy arise, we try to dispose of these difficult mind states by blaming ourselves or others, rather than paying attention to what we’re doing in the present moment that keeps producing more suffering.
The Buddha often talks about “abandoning” unskillful qualities in the mind. That word “abandon” in English is hard to accept: it sounds like spiritual bypassing, and maybe a little irresponsible too. But by abandon (pajahati), the Buddha doesn’t mean tossing your feelings into the trash. He means learning to stop participating in the process of clinging to your experience.
For example, you can be angry at someone without preparing a case against them all day long. You can be disappointed without turning your pain into a whole identity. Nothing that has arisen needs to be gotten rid of. But you can stop making more of it.
There’s a saying in Twelve Step programs: “This ends with me.” I may not be responsible for what was handed to me — addiction, shame, or depression — but I can become responsible for what I hand on. I may have inherited some shitty karma, but I don’t have to pass it down. What came to me as anger can leave as compassion. What came to me as fear can leave as wisdom.
When I was a kid at sleepaway camp, my counselor used to say, “Leave your campsite better than you found it.” That’s a good description of spiritual practice. Maybe today you will arrive at a difficult conversation already irritated. Maybe you will arrive at meditation already restless or tired. You don’t have to pretend you feel differently than you do. You don’t have to leave the campsite perfect. Just leave this place a bit better than you found it.
As always, if you’d like to be held through your process, reach out and we’ll set up a free coaching call.
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