Someone's Got To Do The Dishes
My friend likes to joke, “Everybody thinks they give more than they get. But if that’s true, there must be some giant black hole into which all our generosity keeps disappearing.”
The fact is that we’re not very good at recognizing how much we receive. But there’s another issue too: we doubt our ability to find happiness through our own actions. We forget the joy of being generous for its own sake, or the peace that comes from telling the truth, regardless of how it’s received.
Instead, we look to others to reassure us that our efforts are worthwhile. And when that reassurance doesn’t come, we add doubt on top of resentment. What’s the use? we think. I should just quit.
In Buddhism, this kind of doubt is called vicikicchā. It’s not actually healthy skepticism or critical thinking. It’s a state of mind that closes our eyes to what’s possible and just decides, “Nothing works. I’m going to just check out.”
This is how the world slides into disrepair.
In the Bible, when God asks Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses is overcome by doubt. Who am I to do this? he thinks. What if I fail?
God asks, “What’s in your hand?”
“A staff,” says Moses.
“Throw it down.”
Moses does, and the staff becomes a serpent.
One moral of this story is that we can be so preoccupied with what might happen that we forget the power in our hands right now.
You might not know whether your efforts at building something will pay off. But you can know what it's like to act with love, to listen with compassion. It’s your experience, after all. No one else can tell you whether it’s worthwhile.
Maybe you feel like you’ve done more than your share of the dishes. And sometimes, maybe you're right. But living with an overflowing sink isn't happiness.
Someone’s got to do the dishes, after all. As Rabbi Hillel said, “If not me, then who?”
As always, if you’d like to be held through your own process, reach out and we’ll set up a free coaching call.
Comments