There Is No Punchline

An older couple finally have a son. “Now we’ll be happy,” they say.

But a wise man living across the street says, “We’ll see about that”

Years later, the son has an accident that leaves him with a limp. “He’ll miss out on so much,” the couple says.

“We’ll see about that,” says the wise man.

Then a war comes and everyone's drafted except the son. “We’re so lucky,” the couple says.

“We’ll see about that,” says the wise man.

Then the house catches fire and the parents die.

“Oh fuck,” says the wise man. “Okay, that’s really awful.”

I know, it's not much of a punchline. But in real life, there is no punchline. We're born, good and bad things happen to us, then we die. But notice how the storytelling mind is always trying to bring things to a resolution. Even in a story about questioning our stories, we still wait for a satisfying ending.

But the Buddha said the spiritual life is lived for the purpose of letting go of all our stories, good and bad. Because our investment in the story of our life is what keeps us from actually living it.

Really see this. Maybe the story of your career causes you to overwork instead of doing what truly makes you happy. Maybe the story of your love life keeps you chasing the same bad relationships instead of noticing who's been there all along.

I’ve been thinking a lot about aging lately. While aging brings real challenges, I notice that much of my anguish about it comes from the stories I tell myself: No one will desire me as an older person. No one will care what I have to say. I’ll be irrelevant.

But when I look closely, I see these stories aren’t new. I’ve been telling them since I was a child. Aging, in other words, is often just a new excuse to hurt yourself in an old way.

What happens when we stop waiting for the punchline? What happens when, instead of putting our lives on hold till we glimpse a happy ending, we plunge in and live, even in the midst of fires, accidents, and the inevitable moment the story unravels?

As always, if you'd like to be held through your own process, contact me and we’ll set up a free coaching call.

Image by Elena Aldea