Don't Start None, Won't Be None

There’s a Russian story of a frog and scorpion. The frog says to the scorpion, “Climb on my back and I’ll carry you across the river. Just please don’t sting me.” Midway across the river, however, the scorpion stings the frog and they both start to drown. “Why would you do that?” the frog asks. “Because I’m a scorpion,” the scorpion replies. “That’s what I do.”

Folks think the moral of this story is to be constantly on the lookout for toxic people. But “toxic people” is just an idea made up by the frogs of this world who don’t want to see their part in co-creating drama.

I know, because I tend to be that frog: calm, reasonable, and constantly surprised by the insanity in my life. It took me a while to realize that “being surprised” is actually my favorite dramatic role, and that the chaos around me is always just a reflection of the chaos within me.

People say, “Why am I attracting this situation?” But you’re not attracting anything. You’re attracted TO it. That’s why the Buddha said we can’t get rid of our suffering till we see its appeal.

We like to pretend suffering only has drawbacks, but in reality, anger makes us feel more alive, more relevant. Jealousy turns us on. Sadness is oddly comforting. If something keeps happening, over and over, you can bet it’s a comfort zone of some kind.

Most pop-psychology exists to make sure we don’t blame the victim. And sometimes people really ARE victims. But if you want to empower victims, rather than sedate them with self-pity, teach them that it’s okay just to cross the street.

When drama comes down the block, you don’t have to confront it, fix it, read articles about it, or be the hero of any story. Just cross the street. Don’t convince scorpions not to sting. Just cross the street. As my old friend used to say: Don’t start none, won’t be none.

As always, if you’d like to be held through your own process, contact me and we’ll set up a free sample coaching call.