Joy Is Your Birthright

Shunryu Suzuki used to say: "Enjoy your problems." He didn't mean you should pretend to like your suffering. He meant that our problems are often where we are most alive. Think about falling in love, raising children, or learning to cook. Each of these is, in a sense, a series of problems.

But modern society says: find a way to get rid of these problems! Only then will you experience joy. Move to the right city and everything will click. Optimize your morning routine and anxiety will fade. Heal your trauma and you'll find a good relationship.

But joy is your birthright. It's where you start from, not what you earn. Watch a healthy child, at the start of life, playing in puddles, sticks, and shadows, and you'll remember that joy is not manufactured. It's uncovered, right in the midst of life's problems.

When the Buddha taught meditation, he described a state called pīti, which is often mistranslated as “rapture.” But pīti isn’t an exotic altered state. It’s the innate joy of having a body, revealed when thoughts of greed and distress have abated. Meditation is learning to set those thoughts aside and rediscover a wellbeing that’s always here.

In my coaching practice, I often ask clients, “What are you willing to risk?” Coaching isn’t about analyzing problems. It’s about risking joy in the midst of difficulty. You can spend years calculating your chances of finding love, or you can go meet people, enjoy yourself, and see what happens. You can gauge the odds of becoming a successful artist, or you can make art, enjoy yourself, and see what happens.

I'm not saying it's easy. But all that we are begins with our thoughts, and as we stop waiting for what Chögyam Trungpa called, "The dream come true," we find that the awakened life is far better than anything we could have dreamed.

As always, if you'd like to be held through your process, contact me and we’ll set up a free coaching call.

Adolf von Becker, "Maternal Joy" (1868)